Waiting

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I think what’s been the most frustrating throughout my TTC experience thus far has been the waiting. Waiting to ovulate, two week wait after ovulation before AF, then the cycle repeats itself EVERY MONTH. The anticipation the first several months was terrible for me. I SWORE I had symptoms, and would worry myself to death looking every thing up online. The internet can be your worst enemy when TTC. I feel a bit more relaxed now that we have a plan in place. And I’m not even thinking I’m pregnant this month, b/c odds are I’m not. Since R started Clomid to see if that would help increase his numbers we’re going to give that the recommended 3 months to see if it helps. We’ll have our first IUI in December. So between now and December I’m going to try and relax more and do more “me-things” that I won’t be able to do as often once pregnant. It’s not easy, I still get very anxious sometimes. But I’m dealing.

Before we started TTC I was on a mild anti-depressant. My doctor advised me to go off of it before we started trying since my depression is pretty mild. The bottom line is that the negatives (when I get pregnant) would outweigh the positives in my case. Every case is different though, that is something you need to discuss with your doctor. So between going off of my anti-depressant and birth control at the same time I’ve been an absolute wreck at certain points during my cycle! I finally reached out a few weeks ago and started seeing a counselor. Our insurance covers it 100%, so I go every Wednesday on my lunch break. I’ve done counseling before…..once when my parents divorced then again when my mom passed away, and when I’m able to find a good fit I really like it. I’ve only been three times, but I think my counselor is a good fit and I really enjoy my time with her.

So now I’m just waiting, some more……hoping that the medicine will help increase R’s sperm count, and hoping if we’re not pregnant by December we’ll have a successful IUI!

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