After TTC #1 for 12 months now I’ve heard a few AWFUL things from friends/family that know we’re TTC. I’m quite sure they mean well, they just don’t know what to say….and instead of saying nothing they end up saying too much. If I had it to do all over again I wouldn’t have told people we were even TTC at all. Being constantly asked about what’s going on is helpful some days, and excruciating other days. Going through this has taught me so much, and you honestly have NO idea how you would act/react until you’ve been put in a similar situation. Here are a few of the awful things I’ve heard:
- Just relax, it will happen when it’s supposed to happen.
We’ve tried that, thanks…..when there are medical factors inhibiting you from conceiving it’s just not that easy.
- I understand. It took us 5 months to get pregnant.
Taking 5 months to conceive and being diagnosed with infertility are COMPLETELY different situations. I know you may be trying to be helpful, but its best not to play the comparing game. Thanks!
- You’re so young, you’ve got plenty of time.
Yes, I am glad we started trying when I was 26 instead of 36, but when you’re “ready” you’re ready and age doesn’t matter.
- Everything happens for a reason.
Really??? So you’re saying there’s a reason we don’t have children yet?!? Suggesting our infertility is part of “the grand plan” is NOT helping!
- Why don’t you adopt?
It’s not that we’re against adoption, we’re just not ready to give up the dream of having a biological child…..not to mention the cost, approximately $20,000-$30,000 to adopt an infant.
- You haven’t been trying that long.
12 months might not be long compared to the length of time some women try….but it’s a damn long time for us!
- Why don’t you try IVF?
Thanks for your wonderful suggestion, did you know our insurance won’t cover that, each round is $11,000, and it would only give us a 40% chance of conception? If you’re willing to pick up the tab we’d be willing to gamble with your money.