Yesterday was a really bad day

bad-day-bad-lifeYesterday I had my HSG test completed. It was supposed to be a routine test. Because of my age and my previous blood tests RE said he had no reason to believe I had any issues. He was wrong. The test started out with me having to go into my RE’s office for a pregnancy test. I walked into a packed waiting room to sit and wait 30 minutes before they asked me to pee in a cup to verify that I wasn’t pregnant (I think they’re just covering their asses on this one, b/c if you have the HSG test and you are pregnant you’ll more than likely miscarry). Then I had to go downstairs to admitting (my RE’s office is inside of the hospital) and wait to be checked in there. Next I went back to radiology, changed into a gown and waited for RE and the radiologist to come in. The RE inserted a speculum, then inserted a balloon type device to open my cervix (which was painful) then inserted a catheter into my uterus. Next he started to inject me with a liquid that had dye in it and the radiologist began taking pictures. If all is well and your tubes are opened the test is pretty painless, other then some minor cramping…..this WAS NOT the case for me. Quickly after injecting the liquid RE could see that my right tube was blocked so it was HELLA painful for about 30 seconds, then they pulled out the catheter and I was fine. I got dressed then went back up to RE’s office to talk.

He said that our next plan of action could include exploratory surgery for me (which is very expensive and not covered by our insurance), to investigate and see what was causing the blockage and potentially remove the blockage. There’s a possibility while “exploring” they could have to remove the tube all together. RE said IUI’s are basically a waste of time and money for us now with only one functioning tube. Basically I’m functioning at 50% and R is functioning at 5%, so it is a bad combo for IUI. He suggested we move straight to IVF with ICSI. I instantly started crying at the mention of this. Up until yesterday I was thinking we’d have a few more IUI’s and I’d be pregnant within the next few months. Now I’m hearing that our best option is to move straight on to IVF with ICSI. I went home and talked about everything with R. It was a rough night.

I called the RE’s office again this morning to discuss payment options and their office offers 2 different options for IVF with ICSI, should we decide to go down that road:

  1. Pay $7,300 upfront.
  2. Pay $5,350 upfront, then IF we get pregnant around 8-10 weeks along (after RE felt good about our pregnancy) we’d owe another $4,650. The advantage to option #2 is that we’d be paying less money if it didn’t work.

Neither of those options include the medications, which would cost another $1,500 ish. If we ended up with “extra” embryos we could freeze them for $600 then each additional time we wanted to “try” it would only be $1,500.

We have about $1,600 in our savings account currently….which won’t even get us started. We could finance it….but it would really suck to be making a payment on a failed IVF cycle. I suggested to R that it might be time to ask our parents for help. R is a very private person, and doesn’t have the best relationship with his family so he was NOT keen on the idea at all. Technically we have the money….but it’s in our 401k accounts, so we’d have to “take a loan from ourselves” and pay it back. The part that has us unsure of what to do isn’t the 1st IVF….it’s what comes after a failed IVF. What if IVF #1 doesn’t work? Do you try again? When do you stop? What happens if we spend all of the money we have in our 401k only to be left still with no baby. How do we afford adoption at that point?

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24 thoughts on “Yesterday was a really bad day

  1. Oh man – this was me about 2 years ago. Our RE recommended IVF for similar reasons (I have a blocked tube and hubby has low sperm count) and it literally took me almost a year and and half to wrap my head around the time, money, and what if’s surrounding an IVF cycle. We were fortunate in that we didn’t have to finance because I am an avid saver and between that and a tax refund we were able to foot the bill. Still, it was a BIG bill, and I thought to myself the same as you: “what if this doesn’t work?” Its like we might as well take all that money and throw it into the garbage, you know? I realize this isn’t going to help you make a decision. I do have to say that we obviously finally decided to go for it and thank goodness we did.
    If you ever have any IVF related questions I’d be happy to try and help. Hoping you are able to make a decision, soon, that you are at peace with.

    • Thanks Theresa! I really hope that I have a similar “success story” to share before too much longer. I too hope we reach some sort of decision….even if it’s save up for it and have IVF when we have the money. It’s just such a gamble. What if it doesn’t work? Do we wait another year before we can afford another round? I wish there was an easy answer to this.

      • I think its best to take one cycle at a time – unless your clinic has a multiple cycle discount of some kind and you have to think about it that way. And I agree with the IUI being a bad idea. At one point hubby had a sperm count that was within normal limits and so I asked if we could try one. Obviously the amount of Follistim or whatever you use is different because they don’t want you to grow 20 follicles and end up with dodecatwinuplets (my made up word for like 15 kids) so they have to lower the dose when you start showing bigger follicles. As luck would have it, all my dominant follicles were growing on the blocked side, and so it had to be canceled.

  2. How much is too much to spend on something you feel like you can’t live without? I say go for it! You’re young enough to be risky. If you don’t, you’ll always wonder and possibly build resentment and that’s more unhealthy than a low retirement account. XOXO

  3. Wow! What shocking news to go in for a routine HSG and leave with that information. I am so sorry. We have debated talking to our family (outside of my mother) when the time comes for IVF for financial assistance. It’s a hard choice and I still don’t know what we will decide to do but I really hope you guys can figure out works best for you. I am sending you all kinds of healing prayers friend. xoxo

  4. We were left with no choices other than IVF/ICSI. (Our IUI costs got way out of control, so we weren’t willing to travel that road again.)
    We planned & saved for 3 years for our IVF cycle. We had to go into knowing it would be our only cycle. And whatever FET’s may come from it, but no full IVF cycles were in our future. I got REALLY lucky throughout my entire cycle. I have 11 in the freezer and got my bfp on my 1st round. All at a financial total cost of $18,535.13. We were able to (somehow) do this on our own w/out borrowing or financing. But we did have to wait 3 years, and we did have to sell a paid off car and go back to a car payment.
    Everyone’s journey is different. You & your husband have to find the path that you can both live with. I have family that could have well afforded to help, and knew of our struggles, but did not offer, so we did not ask.
    We also exceeded the assumed medication expecnses by nearly double, so if I were you I would allow for a little cushion there. Good luck to you both. I will be praying for you!

    • That sounds like a solid plan! I’m thinking since I responded well to just Clomid that with the full IVF meds I’ll produce a decent number of eggs…..which would allow for FET’s if IVF wasn’t successful. Thanks for the prayers and words of advice, I really appreciate it!

  5. Theresa’s comment was great. I second what she said. I can’t help you make your decision, but share my story and offer hope.
    That’s a hard reality to be hit with, I know. When we met with our RE I already knew I had endometriosis and he was like “Ivf is your only option”. It’s such a hard thing to grasp. The emotions, the money factor. I think my second post on my blog is the one where I panic over the cost. We knew this (our twins) was what we wanted so we would make it work. We got help from our family because it was our only option. I thank my lucky stars it worked for us on the first try.
    Why don’t RE’s check the ovaries before IUI? Seems like a way for them to make quick cash. Does the RE offer any idea of what it could be on your end? I ask only because it could help you make your decision. If your uterus is fine, bypassing the ovaries can be exactly what you need. That’s what happened in my case. I don’t know your entire back story so it’s hard to offer advice, but I might get a second opinion from an experienced OB. My regular OB was the one to determine I had endo before she even did the surgery. The symptoms were all there. Sometimes RE’s focus so much on getting you pregnant that their experience in other areas vagina is limited. Just my opinion.

    • Thank you! Yes, seems frustrating. It would have been nice to know that I had a blocked tube back in July when we started all of the testing, but oh well…I guess at least I know now. The RE didn’t have a clue why my tube was blocked, he said the exploratory surgery would be the only way of knowing for sure…..so who knows. I’m not even sure the surgery would be covered by insurance, or how much. I just don’t think we want to go down that road since R has such a low sperm count. If it was a normal count then I think it would make more sense. I’m not sure if we’ll end up asking our families or not. If we did ask for the money I know for a fact that R’s family would be all up in our business, since they don’t even know we’re TTC right now…..and we would both hate that!! We’ll figure out something. Thanks again!

      • You will. πŸ™‚ Well, good news is, if your uterus isn’t the issue, the IVF could work without the surgery. Look up about endometriosis, a lot of people have no idea about it, including OBs. They say they have to do surgery to know for sure if you have it, but I had myself self diagnosed yrs before any OB finally detected it. And I didn’t do another surgery before my Ivf cycle. Just sharing as some hope for you. I’ll keep you in my thoughts. You’ll make the best choice for you, whatever that may be.

  6. Aww that rings bells with me too, they had to stop the HSG and get me a sick bucket because I went wore and almost threw up it was so painful! !

    I know how devastated you must feel. It’s such a sad time 😦 I hope you and R can support each other through it xxx

  7. I’m sorry you had disappointing results from your HSG–I cringe to think how painful it must have been. And I know you’ll come to terms with a plan you and R can live with, but it sucks that you are forced to make these tough decisions. *Hugs*

  8. I am so so so very sorry. What terrible news. I would be beyond upset and its just so unfair all of the uknown crap that creeps up on you through all of this. Just not fair. I am praying for you and R

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