These last six days have been pure hell. I learned that there is something far worse than just a failed cycle. It is far worse to get a positive pregnancy test, positive beta HCG test, get excited, then have it all ripped away from you in the blink of an eye. It just feels like a cruel joke. The roller coaster of emotions is not fun, and I just want to get off the ride.

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Heart rate monitor

heart rate monitorIn case you were wondering how I came up with the “calories burned” part of my last post I use a heart rate monitor, the Polar FT4. There’s a strap that goes around your chest, just under your bra, and a watch that you wear while you’re working out. It tracks your heart rate through your workouts and calculates calories burned. I bought it years ago when I was “getting serious about losing weight” and only used it a handful of times. I’m back to using it now, and it’s incredible seeing the amount of calories I’m burning during my insanity workouts. Continue reading

Insanity: Week 1

week 1Okay, so obviously my weight-loss/work-out efforts were a bit derailed at the end of this past week (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, read this post). Insanity isn’t the type of work-out anyone should do while they’re pregnant….it’s way too high-intensity, there’s too much jumping around, and your heart rate will be going through the roof!! Before our news Thursday night though I had been killing it as far as tracking my calories on my MyFitnessPal app and working out every day. I skipped Friday & Saturday’s workouts….and probably ate too much this weekend (I’m an emotional eater….it’s a problem), but I still managed to LOSE 2.4 LBS THIS WEEK! I’m super stoked about that! After the weekend I’ve had I honestly didn’t think I would have lost any weight at all this week. I plan to start back with Week 2, Day 1 today…but I wanted to give you a quick recap of just how INSANE Insanity is: Continue reading

Chemical pregnancy

positivehptOkay, so I have a lot to catch you guys up on. The last I blogged about was on Monday (15dpiui), I had my IUI #4 follow up (which was negative) I told my RE about our plans to take a break for the summer from fertility treatments. I stopped taking my progesterone suppositories (Saturday) and that was that. Well by Thursday I still hadn’t started my period, which was unusual because it always comes 2-3 days after I stop taking the progesterone. I decided to take a HPT that night, just an internet cheapie, and it was a faint positive.

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Taking a break

blog-3I had my IUI #4 follow up appointment with my RE today, and it was very productive. I told him about our plans to take the summer off, and he said that sounded like a great plan. He agreed that sometimes you just need a mental break, and it may be just what we need. Continue reading

11dpiui, bfn

Anything is possible……I’ve read of women not getting positive HPT’s until 12-15dpiui….but I’m just trying to be realistic here. I don’t feel a bit different. All of my “symptoms” have gone away, which leads me to believe (just like the last 3) that my body has just adjusted to the progesterone suppositories. I’m leaving for a work trip in just a few hours, and I look forward to enjoying a few cocktails this weekend.

R & I had a really good talk last night. He, I’m sure like most men, rarely opens up to me about how he actually feels….but last night he let me in, which was really nice. Continue reading

The dreaded 2ww

The 2ww is just plain exhausting. The irony is not lost on me, waiting should not be exhausting….but in this instance it totally is. I decided to test this morning (WAY TOO EARLY, I KNOW!!!) because I hoped maybe I was THAT GIRL that got a BFP at only 8dpiui….well I’m not, at least not this time. For whatever reason (honestly, nothing to do with my BFN this morning) I just feel out this cycle….and that made me very sad. And then I started wondering if being so sad was a pregnancy symptom….see how crazy I am right now?!?! Continue reading


I’d like to think I’m experiencing implantation cramping right now (even though it’s probably too early for that). It’s not too bad, but it’s steady cramping/throbbing/pulsing on my right side, which is where my 2 beautiful follicles were. Continue reading

When to tell people about your pregnancy

So today I’m 2 DPIUI….and about this stage in my cycle every time R & I have a debate/argument/fight/discussion about when we’ll tell people about our pregnancy, should this IUI work. His immediate response is always, “we shouldn’t tell ANYONE until we’re past the 12 week point”….then I’ll say that I want to tell a small group of people right away and everyone else at 12 weeks, then he always follows it up with, “well just do whatever you want, I know you’re going to anyway”….which just infuriates me. Continue reading