The dreaded 2ww

The 2ww is just plain exhausting. The irony is not lost on me, waiting should not be exhausting….but in this instance it totally is. I decided to test this morning (WAY TOO EARLY, I KNOW!!!) because I hoped maybe I was THAT GIRL that got a BFP at only 8dpiui….well I’m not, at least not this time. For whatever reason (honestly, nothing to do with my BFN this morning) I just feel out this cycle….and that made me very sad. And then I started wondering if being so sad was a pregnancy symptom….see how crazy I am right now?!?!

If this cycle doesn’t work I’m throwing around the idea of taking the summer off and getting serious about losing weight and enjoying the summer. I think I may just need a break from it all for  a few months. It’s such a catch 22, because I want my baby so badly, but I just don’t know how many more times I can do this before I break. I just don’t know.

Still not giving up hope for this cycle, just trying to prepare myself for what the next week holds. I’m going out of town for work Thursday-Sunday this week, so I’ll definitely test on Thursday (11dpiui)….to decide if I can drink this weekend or not.

Next Monday, the 19th, is my beta test…..but if I’m still getting negative HPT’s my RE will just discuss the plan for the next cycle…if we decide to push forward at this time.

Unsure of when I’ll post about my results of this cycle, but I WILL be blogging about it either way. I decided I couldn’t shut everyone out, I need my select group of friends and family to be with me throughout this WHOLE journey, not just pieces. The support I receive through this blog is just incredible, it is so helpful to me!!

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41 thoughts on “The dreaded 2ww

  1. I’m suffering through the 2WW on my 2nd IUI now. We have male factor infertility also. Here’s hoping we get our BFP this month. PS- When do you typically start testing? I usually don’t, but I’m really itching to test right now!!! I’m 10 pays past IUI.

    Good luck.

    • Sorry to hear that, male factor infertility sucks!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you’re right and we both get our BFP’s. For me it’s been different every IUI, I don’t know what the right answer is. I’d say test away….but don’t be discouraged by a BFN, as it might be too early. Usually by 12dpiui you should know for sure one way or the other.

  2. Don’t give up hope! (& don’t take this as encouragement to test early lol) but I totally thought I was out last cycle and it would virtually have been the immaculate conception. Tho it didn’t last I did get a BFP when I least expected it. It might not be over yet!

  3. You are certainly not crazy! I tested again this morning at 7DP3DT and I’m still getting a negative, although most tell me it’s still too early. This is so hard. Prayers to you!

  4. Sorry you’re feeling sad today 😦
    I know your journey is an emotional roller coaster in the first place!
    You’re definitely not crazy. Just keep the goal in mind and do what you need to do to make it a positive experience. XO

  5. I so hope you get your BFP this month. I understand the up and down emotions. A friend of mine has a blog called “Ain’t no roller coaster” about life with her micro preemie, but I often think that title can pertain to infertility as well. Roller coasters ups and downs are fun, those in infertility often are not…at least not until you actually have that take home baby in your arms. I hope this week goes by quickly for you!

    • Thank you, I really hope so. I’m just so ready to end this journey and start on my next one. SO TRUE!! It’s not fun anymore (I guess it never was), I’m ready to get off!! Thank you.

  6. We are 1 day apart in our cycle! I think every cycle I am convinced I will be “THAT” girl too. There is a forum I post in where the last time I was convinced I was THAT girl and tested early I got a BFN… but the woman I inspired by my early testing optimism got a BFP… at 7dpo with a beta of 8. Seriously. 8.

    If it weren’t the TWW I would be drinking to the things we do while TTC.

    • Jeez, did the beta of 8 turn out to be a viable pregnancy?? Those are the exact stories that have me testing early most times, lol. Bad logic I know. Best of luck with the rest of your wait!

      • It did! She is now 7 months along with a little girl. And yep- that was the month where I literally shook my phone and went “Really?! I didn’t need another reason to stock up on wondfos!” hehe 🙂

      • LOL!!! We just have to remind ourselves that those girls are the exception, not the rule….and we shouldn’t expect results like that.

  7. Hang in there and don’t give up!! I’m cheering you on!! Wow… is your trigger out of your system at 8dpiui?? My trigger doesn’t leave my system until about 11-12dpiui… so i’m forced to wait it out until test day. And remember….progesterone has a side effect of depression!!! That is what i’m blaming my negativity on!!! Hang in there!! xoxo

    • I tested out my trigger my first 2 IUI’s….and the results were about the same…my trigger is usually gone by 5 or 6dpiui. Weird how everyone responds differently. Thanks lady, I appreciate it. Thinking of you too! XOXO

  8. I completely understand where you’re coming from, I felt very similar during our IUIs. Not much makes it go away either but I think if this isn’t your month, a break is a good plan, it helps. But we’re going to assume that it IS your month, because that’s way more exciting. So good luck and try to stay as cautiously optimistic as possible. ( I know that really is impossible though…)

  9. I am so hoping that this cycle could be it and I am so, so sorry that this has been such an off day. This journey is hard and so mentally draining that taking a break just to maybe start living again completely makes sense. Thinking of you, honey!!

    • I honestly change my mind every day, and maybe all this worry will be for nothing bc maybe I’m already pregnant, will know soon enough! I hope you’re doing well. Thank you!

  10. It’s such a hard time! So all consuming. The stories of little miracles happening keeps us all hoping. I think some hope is better than none, even if it does mean disappointment too. Fingers crossed it will be your month.

  11. Girl I know how you feel. I am on a treatment plan cycle break for a few months thanks to starting a new job. Sometimes its nice not to worry about OPK’s and TWW and all of that, but then finding out yet another person is pregnant is even harder when I feel like I’m just sitting here doing nothing! UGH! Its all so draining to be on the roller coaster for just month after month. Good luck with the rest of your TWW, bc its def not over. Lots of baby dust to you! xoxo

    • Yea, I could totally see that. You feel like you’re just sitting still while the world continues to move all around you….idk if I’ll take a break or not. I’m really just not sure. Thank you, you’re right! Still have several more days!

  12. Just started my TWW for my 3rd IUI and I agree, the TWW is hell. It’s hard not to feel hopeless when you have had months of BFN and disappointment but at the end of the day, maybe this will be the one for all of us. I have to try to give others hope because it is all of us who are struggling that push us to fight another day, keep hoping, and keep believing that one day it will be our turn for a BFP. Wishing you lots of hope, a BFP, and lots of baby dust…we can totally beat this! Hang in there and follow your heart about taking a break.

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