11dpiui, bfn

Anything is possible……I’ve read of women not getting positive HPT’s until 12-15dpiui….but I’m just trying to be realistic here. I don’t feel a bit different. All of my “symptoms” have gone away, which leads me to believe (just like the last 3) that my body has just adjusted to the progesterone suppositories. I’m leaving for a work trip in just a few hours, and I look forward to enjoying a few cocktails this weekend.

R & I had a really good talk last night. He, I’m sure like most men, rarely opens up to me about how he actually feels….but last night he let me in, which was really nice. I told him about my idea for a break, and he really liked it. He said if I wanted to push forward we could continue with treatment now, but he thinks we need a break too. Plus, we have such a busy summer scheduled it would be a nightmare trying to fit in treatment cycles around our mini-vacations. He said this has all been very hard emotionally on him too. I guess I always knew that, but for whatever reason actually hearing him say that just made me feel better, and more sad at the same time. You know that saying, “a woman becomes a mother when she is pregnant, but a man becomes a father when he holds his baby”…..I think it’s a little different in the infertility world. We’ve been going at it for 19 months now, which has given us extra time to “prepare” mentally, if that makes sense. I think we’re both just ready to be parents, and leave this infertility journey behind us. It’s just really tough because each time we’ve had an IUI I envision myself pregnant, I envision what our due date will be, I think about how we’ll design the nursery, I think about events we have coming up in the year and think about how pregnant I’ll be by certain dates…..and then when those cycles fail it’s like my dreams are just crushed.

I have a follow up appointment with my RE on Monday (15dpiui), and assuming I’m still not pregnant by then we’ve decided to take a break for the summer. I told R I want to take a REAL BREAK, no talking about baby names, no talking about treatment, no talking about nursery plans, no talking about anything baby related. I’m going to focus more on my body….I’ve really let the depression and infertility take its toll on me. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been right now, and I just feel awful physically. Pre-infertility I had already gained a good 20 lbs since I got married, and another 10-15 since we started TTC and fertility treatments, my wedding rings don’t even fit anymore….that’s how bad it’s gotten. I am going to work on losing weight over the next 3 months, I don’t have exact goals…..just want to make progress…and it may mean taking baby steps. Maybe I still have some bad lunches, but I eat a healthy dinner every night and work out 3-5 times/week. I’m going to start Insanity again starting Monday. It’s a really tough program, but it truly does work. I got through about 8 weeks of it 2 years ago and managed to lose 20 lbs….which was incredible.

I still plan on blogging, but probably not as much. And I will definitely be keeping up with my infertility sisters along their journeys. I look forward to a care free summer, and resuming treatment in September. We’re not sure how many more we plan to do….but we’re not done with IUI’s just yet.

30 thoughts on “11dpiui, bfn

  1. I’m so sorry that this one is looking like a BFN! I totally understand your frustration and need for a break. Enjoy your time concentrating on yourself…everyone needs that sometimes! 🙂

    • Thank you!! In many ways I don’t want to take a break, b/c I think to myself that the next one will surely be IT….but I think I just need a break b/c if it isn’t THE ONE I may lose it.

  2. I totally understand thinking about taking a break. I always think it’s good to have a plan in case a cycle fails. This way you are prepared no matter what happens. BUT I’m still rooting for your BFP this cycle!

  3. I totally know what you mean. And I’m also familiar with the “talk” you had with DH. When we took a break, it actually brought us closer and then when we resumed our fertility journey- I felt like we were stronger in the pursuit. When we receive the BFNs, I know it’s hard- but remember it doesn’t define your final result as there is always the hope and chance for a BFP in the (hopefully near) future. Hang in there!! And enjoy the weekend trip!!!! Xo

  4. I’m so sorry. I’m 13 DP IUI and test tomorrow at my doctor’s office. I’m on progesterone and started having random cramps the last couple of days so I’m pretty sure it will be negative. I’m so over wasting money on pregnancy tests, just to stare at negative results. This is my first month on progesterone and I haven’t had one side effect. No bloating, sore boobs etc etc- NOTHING. You would think it would be WORSE. This will only be my second IUI and my husband is already talking about taking a break. I don’t know what the right thing to do is. I know this isn’t a race but I feel like if I take a break I will be that far behind. I do the same thing you do every month, think about my due date, nursery etc. It’s complete torture. Last month I would have been due on my and my mom’s birthday, so of course I convinced myself that last month was THE month but it wasn’t.

    I hope you enjoy your summer.

    • Best of luck to you!! I wish I had your will power. Every time I have an IUI I always tell myself that I won’t test until 14dpiui, but I ALWAYS test early. Ugh! Yes, I do that too….when the due date falls on an important date.

      Thank you!!

  5. ugh, I’m sorry Jen. FWIW, I’m one of those ppl who didn’t get a positive HPT until 12dpIUI, so I’m holding out hope for yoU! If not, I think a break could be a great idea to give you time to focus on yourself and your health and your marriage for awhile. TTC is so draining 😦

    • Thank you, I’ve still got a tiny sliver of hope I’m holding on to too. Yea, I think it’ll be the best thing for us. And in September maybe we’ll feel rejuvenated and ready to tackle infertility again. It so is!!!

  6. I’m right there with you hun. BFN at 12DPO (12dpiui). I try to keep reminding myself as well that early positives are NOT the norm… but we always hope for them, right?

    Breaks are always good- and concentrating on your health could bring on amazing miracles. At the very least, it gives you time to take a deep breath and de-stress for awhile! I hope you really enjoy your break, and that it gives you a renewed sense of self when you return to the gamut of infertility treatments!

  7. If we end up on a break together, I think we should motivate each other for the weight loss/fitness goals. I’m really fallen off the bandwagon over the past 9 months. I could use a buddie to keep me going. 🙂

  8. Oh, no. I’m sorry about the BFN and the fears (or realism as you have described it). If this didn’t work, I think your idea to take a “real” break is a wise one. However, I’m going to keep hoping for some awesome news to come your way in the meantime.

  9. Dont throw the towel just yet… 11dpo is kinda early still… but I understand how you feel. My husband has suggested we take a break but I’m not ready for that at all… Its good that you’re both on the same level though, makes things easier for your relationship… Just try to have fun during summer. I know it’ll be a challenge to not think about it even though you’re not talking about it, but you will do great!! XOXO

    • Yes you’re right, i know I shouldn’t! I just feel like it’s time for us to take a break, plus we have a really busy summer and treatments may not line up with the times we are out of town! Yes, so glad we’re on the same page. Thanks for thinking of me!

  10. Don’t lose hope yet, I agree that 11dpo could just be too early. I’m glad to hear that your hubby opened up about his feelings – it is nice to know what is going on in their heads every now and then! Keeping you in my thoughts and hoping you get good news! If you do decide to take a break and also focus on getting healthy, I totally recommend running. I started a few months ago and it has helped me lose some weight and also keep my sanity.

  11. I totally understand the need to take a break especially during the summer. It always seems like the summertime is the busiest and you don’t want to stress yourself out more or get burned out with activities and trying to work in a treatment schedule. I’m praying this break will be good for your spirit and soul and who knows…you might conceive too 🙂 How awesome would that be?! Hugs girl! xo


  12. So sorry it’s looking like a BFN – sounds like a break is a good plan for a busy summer and focusing on health could be amazing for you once you return still crossing my fingers for BFP for you!!!

  13. I’m sending prayers, love and hugs your way!! I’m hoping for your BFP but if not, taking a break was one of the best things my hubby and I did after our 3rd failed IUI. Hang in there, friend!! ❤️❤️

  14. Don’t give up hope. My hubby made me promise not to do a hpt and to wait until our blood test which is scheduled for next week Friday. I’m currently 7dp3dt. Miracles do happen. I’m holding thumbs for you. xxx

  15. Hey there, lovely, I hope you are doing okay. I know this is the worst part and I know how hard that talk was to have with your husband. I am praying for you, honey, and thinking of you. Hugs, lady!

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