Still in limbo


This morning I had more bloodwork and another ultrasound. Unfortunately my RE is on vacation Today-Tuesday so I met with another doctor in the practice. My HCG this morning was 1,223….so it’s still going up, but not doubling properly (which isn’t good). Next I had my ultrasound. They didn’t see anything in my uterus or my tubes so they’re still not 100% sure what’s going on. After my ultrasound I met with the doctor. He said at this point we should have seen SOMETHING on the ultrasound, even if it was just a sac, so since we’re not seeing anything it is a huge red flag. He thinks it is a tubal pregnancy or an abnormal pregnancy that needs to be terminated. He said it was completely my decision what to do at this point but I got the impression he wanted me to go ahead and do the shot of methotrexate and get rid of the pregnancy today, but I just couldn’t do it.

He scheduled another beta for Sunday and another ultrasound for Monday….hopefully we’ll have made a decision by then. I decided to take off from work today, emotionally I just couldn’t do it… I’m home now, and plan to just relax all day. If I start having any bleeding or pain on the right or left side I have to go to the ER immediately, and there’s a chance that by waiting I will have to have the emergency surgery and potentially lose a tube (which would really hurt our chances of conceiving again).

I know I’m taking a risk by waiting, but it just didn’t feel right to end things today. I guess it probably won’t ever feel right, but I just couldn’t do it today. Please continue to pray for my little bean. I hope that things start looking better REALLY soon. I am trying to stay positive, but I’m just so scared, and sad. I can’t imagine losing this pregnancy too. I just can’t imagine being back at square one, again.



68 thoughts on “Still in limbo

  1. I am sorry to hear about this but don’t loose faith. I am currently going thru what they “think” is an ectopic. My RE said she doesn’t expect to see anything until the HCG is 2,000. So when we did my u/s at 936 she didn’t worry. But the following week I had back pain and cramping. I will be praying that your numbers are rising and your ultrasound Monday will show a snug little bean. Take today and relax & I know that is hard to do.

    • Oh I’m so sorry to hear you’re also going through this….it’s just such a scary time. Thank you for our prayers, you’ll be in mine too. I really hope so, and I hope the same for you too. Thanks for commenting!

  2. I’m so sorry! I hate being in limbo and I am so sorry that you are going through this. Sending you positive thoughts and hope you get the answer soon.

  3. I am praying for you and your baby! Just yesterday, at my 8 week ultrasound, I was diagnosed with a blighted ovum…my RE saw just an empty sac. This is my second pregnancy loss (my first was a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks, 2 days last year) and we are devastated, especially since I will be 40 in a 4 months. I was going to get the D & C scheduled today, but I came across this sight yesterday after my diagnosis ( and I have decided to wait. I don’t know what the outcome will be and I may very well end up miscarrying, but I do know to always trust your gut! God has big plans for us and our babies!

    • Thank you for saying that! I’ve just heard/read that lots of times you can’t see anything until hcg turns to 2,000 (which should be soon)…..and I’m not having any pain or bleeding so I just don’t believe it. Thank you so much!

  4. I’m so, so sorry.. It just breaks my heart that you’re going through this. I don’t blame you with your choice, that’s how my first loss was and I couldn’t do it either. Feel free to email me if you want to talk. Sending you even more strength today.

  5. Oh no, oh no, oh no! I had somehow accidentally stopped following your blog (no freaking idea how that happened) and I just saw on Awaiting Autumn that you were at risk for an ectopic, so I rushed over here. I am so sorry you are going through this. I will pray for you and your little bean. Sending love and hope your way!

  6. I’m so sorry you still don’t have any answers hon. I would wait too. If they didn’t see anything in your tubes, then it seems strange to me that they’re saying eptopic. I was going to send you the same link expectant0129 did. I found that site, when I had a blighted ovum with miscarriage #2. I don’t want to give you false hope, but some of the stories on there definitely make you take pause. I guess if you have a retroverted uterus, it can be hard to see the baby early on. It turned out mine was a blighted ovum, but I did 3 follow-up ultrasounds to make sure before we proceeded with anything. Sending you so many prayers. Big hug ❤

  7. I am so sorry you are going through this. I sure hope you get a positive result on Monday. Sending you hope and prayers that this will turn around really soon.

  8. So sorry you’re still in limbo. I think it’s 100% legit to wait a few more days to see how things pan out. I’ve heard way too many stories about ultrasounds with nothing in them becoming heartbeats a week later. Continued prayers for you!

  9. Man Jen, this is rough and I’m sorry you are going through it. First and foremost, I just want you to be ok–no surgeries or emergencies. I hope things work out with the pregnancy too, but at the very least I don’t want any medical trauma for you. Much love. XOXO

  10. It sounds like you really have great care and they are on top of it. Hopefully, you won’t have to lose a tube while they’re at it.

  11. I am so sorry you are still stuck in limbo land. With each one of our losses, I’ve found the limbo time to be the hardest part. I was actually thankful with number 4 that we didn’t have to endure the waiting while balancing hope with fear/dread.
    Anyways, I respect your decision to wait until next week. I think you have to do what’s best for you.
    Wishing you all the best.

  12. I am so, so very sorry to hear this news. You are in my thoughts and I am sending so much positive energy and love your way! ❤

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