This morning I had more bloodwork and another ultrasound. Unfortunately my RE is on vacation Today-Tuesday so I met with another doctor in the practice. My HCG this morning was 1,223….so it’s still going up, but not doubling properly (which isn’t good). Next I had my ultrasound. They didn’t see anything in my uterus or my tubes so they’re still not 100% sure what’s going on. After my ultrasound I met with the doctor. He said at this point we should have seen SOMETHING on the ultrasound, even if it was just a sac, so since we’re not seeing anything it is a huge red flag. He thinks it is a tubal pregnancy or an abnormal pregnancy that needs to be terminated. He said it was completely my decision what to do at this point but I got the impression he wanted me to go ahead and do the shot of methotrexate and get rid of the pregnancy today, but I just couldn’t do it.
He scheduled another beta for Sunday and another ultrasound for Monday….hopefully we’ll have made a decision by then. I decided to take off from work today, emotionally I just couldn’t do it…..so I’m home now, and plan to just relax all day. If I start having any bleeding or pain on the right or left side I have to go to the ER immediately, and there’s a chance that by waiting I will have to have the emergency surgery and potentially lose a tube (which would really hurt our chances of conceiving again).
I know I’m taking a risk by waiting, but it just didn’t feel right to end things today. I guess it probably won’t ever feel right, but I just couldn’t do it today. Please continue to pray for my little bean. I hope that things start looking better REALLY soon. I am trying to stay positive, but I’m just so scared, and sad. I can’t imagine losing this pregnancy too. I just can’t imagine being back at square one, again.