The Almost Mom wrote a wonderful post last week that I really connected with, and I wanted to share it. It’s so unfortunate all that infertility steals from us. Now that we’ve suffered two losses I’m certain the next time we get pregnant it will steal that initial joy from us. I’m certain that we won’t be able to get excited about another pregnancy until we see that it’s in the right place and the right size on an ultrasound. Also, that lonely empty room in our house that will eventually be a nursery just breaks my heart. It should have been decorated MONTHS ago, but instead it stills sits empty, and I just can’t go in there. Like The Almost Mom I feel like for the past two years I’ve just been living in limbo and infertility has stolen my life. Of course I’ve still been living and making memories, but all the while I’ve just been waiting. Infertility has stolen so much from me, and I just pray it’s all over soon…..I just don’t know how much more I can endure.
I have been STOLEN FROM!!!
Something so dear to me, so priceless and meaningful has been RIPPED from my hands and from my life and I need someone, anyone, to stop the thief and return my lost possession to me!
I know exactly who the thief is too. It is a dirty, rotten, lying, conniving piece of poo. Makes you feel worthless, kicks you when you are down, and now- I have just realized, is stealing too!
Who is the thief? Infertility. Infertility is my thief. Infertility lies and tells us we aren’t good enough, that we have done something wrong to deserve this. Infertility in conniving and raises hopes to dash them away- always holding the cards close to chest. Infertility. It leaves a bad taste in your mouth and lingers much longer than you want it to.
But this, friends. This I can’t stand. Stealing, on top of all of the other awful wretched no good very bad things Infertility does- stealing is the worst.
From me, Infertility has stolen so much (from us all, I am sure). As I laid in bed last night wide awake at 3am wondering about where my friends keys were so I could feed her cats today my mind started to wander. It started with a pinch in my uterus/ovary area and got me thinking…. what if I am pregnant? How would I tell my husband? Would I surprise him? And then I realized… I cant surprise him. Infertility stole that privilege from me. Infertility took the opportunity to ever hide a great and wonderful secret from my husband long enough to get together a very cute and shocking reveal. Infertility stole that first look of surprise mixed with fear and wonderment from my husband. He knows exactly what day my IUI was (he had to be there after all) and he knows it takes 14 days to find out. He was with me when the nurse scheduled my beta. Instead of shock, it will be relief. Infertility stole from him too.
To read the rest of this article head on over and visit The Almost Mom