Dose #2

ready to get back to normalYesterday I went into the ER (the only place that can administer the drug in my area) for 2 more shots of Methotrexate (the dose is divided into 2 shots), one in each butt cheek. The shots didn’t hurt this time. Maybe I had a more skilled nurse, or maybe I’m just so used to being poked and prodded over these last few weeks it didn’t phase me as much. I even went into work after I was finished this time. I did skip class last night though, in addition to the MTHX I have a cold right now (my 2nd since my first dose of MTHX) and I just felt so worn out. MTHX really does a number on your immune system (since it basically kills tons of cells, even the good ones), plus you’re not allowed to take any vitamins until your HCG returns to 0. When I got home from work I changed into my sweats and got into bed. I fell asleep at 6:30 pm and didn’t wake until 7:00 am this morning. TGIF today for sure. I can’t wait to lay in the bed all weekend.

I’m worried/scared I’ll get sick again in these next few weeks. I am generally a pretty healthy person, and have just felt so sickly lately by getting sick twice in one month. I’m just so ready to get myself back to normal.

I have blood draws scheduled for Monday & Thursday of next week, then I have another follow up scheduled with my RE on 10/28.

I had no idea this process would take so long. Today I should have been 11 weeks pregnant, but instead I’m STILL dealing with this ectopic pregnancy. Not too much longer (I hope) until I’m back to “normal”.


35 thoughts on “Dose #2

  1. I hope you can get back to normal soon. It’s awful to still be in a state of limbo after all this time. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I was just reflecting on how far I should be and I’d be just over 16 weeks. 😦 Thinking of you and hoping all this is over soon. Hugs.

  2. I am so sorry you are still going through this. I’m a firm believer you never go back to normal after losing a baby, instead you find a new normal. And, I think that new normal can be a good thing with time. Wishing you a quick and relatively easy end to this.

  3. I wish the physical aspects of this could just be over for you. I know emotionally, it will take time, but it’d be nice if you could at least feel physically normal! Get lots of rest and drink lots of fluids this weekend. Sending hugs and lots of love your way!

  4. I was sharing my infertility experience with someone the other day, and mentioned how hard it was to experience loss (miscarriage, ectopic, infertility in general), and how hard it was to deal with the treatments. But that I still wanted to be a mother no matter what it took. They told me they thought that I was Brave.

    It was the first time someone, who had never experienced infertility, had really been able to capture a true outsider’s perspective of what we all are. BRAVE! We all push forward with each new step or requirement, we ask tons of questions, but we never question our goal. We continue to have a positive outlook that eventually it’s going to work for us. We brave all the storms that we must deal with.

    And I wanted you to know that you are Brave! You have been through a lot, but yet you press on, and it meant so much to me to be called brave, I thought you needed to hear it too! Continue to be Brave in this journey, and don’t give up hope. The pain is almost past, and you can move forward feeling “normal” again really soon.

    Hugs for you and many many prayers are being sent your way.

  5. I am so sorry that it’s taking so long. It’s so draining. It’s like a slow form of torture. I don’t know how many times I’ve said I want to get back to me, back to normal. I’m still not. I doubt I ever will be. I completely get the need to be ‘normal’ again. Years ago I was on methotrexate (a higher dose) for 1 month thanks to my rheumatologist and was sick the entire time. One cold after another. It’s an awful drug. Good luck with the next blood draws. Hoping the levels plummet so you can be ‘normal’ again. Hugs!

    • I’m just so sick of being sick. I can’t imagine being on a higher dose for a whole month, that must have been terrible! Thank you, I hope you’re right and that I don’t have too much longer until I’m back at 0.

  6. Bless you, I’m thinking of you at this horrible, sad time. I’m hoping that you don’t need any more treatment now and can focus on getting well and taking care of yourself, cos that’s what you need. Sending you lots of love and strength xx

  7. Praying those numbers drop and you get back to “normal” soon too hon. My second miscarriage dragged on for a really long time too and I remember feeling so much better once it was finally over. Thinking of you!

  8. I’m so so sorry this is taking so long to resolve. So so frustrating when you want to heal and move on emotionally but your body drags it out. With miscarriage #2, I lost the baby around 8-9 weeks, and it took another month to resolve – we were hoping for natural (like #1), tried misoprostol 2xx, didn’t work and ended up with a D&C right around when I would have been 12 w. All that to say is that I feel your pain and I am praying your resolution comes quickly!! xoxo

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