End of the road

div_2089056bFrom my experiences tough times can either bring you together or break you apart, in terms of relationships. In addition to “normal marital problems” we’ve had some really tough times over the past 2 years including infertility treatments and miscarriages. My husband has now decided that he does not want children and wants out of our marriage. I’m not sure what has changed. I don’t know if the pain of our last miscarriage is just too much, or his feelings about me have changed. I guess I’ll never know because he refuses to open up to me, or anyone for that matter. He also refuses to go to couples counseling, he says we won’t get anything from it….and with that attitude he’s probably right.

Now don’t get me wrong, we have our own issues aside from infertility, but I think this journey was the straw that broke the camels back, or however that stupid saying goes.

Sadly for me (us) this is the end of our infertility journey, and quite possibly the end of our marriage. I moved out, at his request, last Friday…..and I told him where we go from here is up to him. I still haven’t heard anything from him…so maybe he’s already made his final decision.

I wish I wasn’t writing this post. I want more than anything for him to change his mind and fight for our marriage. I love him, I wanted to start a family with him, and I wanted to spend forever with our family….but I guess we just want different things in life….and that’s okay. I know I’ll be okay.

If nothing changes and he doesn’t decide he’s making the worst decision of his life I plan to write only one more blog post after my HCG finally returns to 0, as a reference to those who may be going through an ectopic pregnancy too.

I wish all the best for all of you. I pray that you all get your miracle babies and live happy healthy lives. It’s been a wild ride, and I thank you for the love and support you’ve shown me along the way. You’ve helped me through some really rough times…and I have made some amazing friends along the way.

❤ au revoir ❤

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