End of the road

div_2089056bFrom my experiences tough times can either bring you together or break you apart, in terms of relationships. In addition to “normal marital problems” we’ve had some really tough times over the past 2 years including infertility treatments and miscarriages. My husband has now decided that he does not want children and wants out of our marriage. I’m not sure what has changed. I don’t know if the pain of our last miscarriage is just too much, or his feelings about me have changed. I guess I’ll never know because he refuses to open up to me, or anyone for that matter. He also refuses to go to couples counseling, he says we won’t get anything from it….and with that attitude he’s probably right.

Now don’t get me wrong, we have our own issues aside from infertility, but I think this journey was the straw that broke the camels back, or however that stupid saying goes. Continue reading

Update on Kristy

Kristy 6.5 weeks pregnantAs of today Unfertile Mertyle has raised $14,465 for Kristy through her online fundraiser….which is just beyond incredible. Kristy has continued to post videos about her pregnancy and she seems to be in better spirits about the pregnancy. It’s her little piece of Royce, just such a miracle. Please continue to pray for Kristy and her baby….they’ve got a long hard road ahead of them.

If you haven’t donated yet, but would like to click on this link.

Infertility, why me?

RIP RoyceOne of the YouTube vloggers I follow, Kristy from ConceiveABaby, just suffered a horrible tragedy. She and her husband Royce had been TTC for nearly 5 years. They recently went through their first IVF cycle and were in their 2WW when Royce passed away suddenly in a car accident.

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The saddest story I’ve ever heard

RIP RoyceOne of the YouTube vloggers I follow, Kristy from ConceiveABaby, just suffered a horrible tragedy. She and her husband Royce had been TTC for nearly 5 years. They recently went through their first IVF cycle and were in their 2WW when Royce passed away suddenly in a car accident. Continue reading

Maintaining your Marriage after a Miscarriage

I found this blog post today (a guest blog post on In All You Do written by Lindsey Bell). I got a lot from the post, and wanted to share for those of you who might be working through a similar situation. Lindsey gave 5 really great tips (I’ve shared my favorite below) of how to maintain your marriage after a miscarriage…..I know I’m struggling right now, and I think there is a lot of truth to the tips she gave.  Continue reading

Overwhelming love & support

I’ve lost count of the number of cards and gifts I’ve received after learning about my ectopic pregnancy, but I’m just so appreciative….thank you so much, they all have meant so much to me! The overwhelming love and support has been so incredible, and I couldn’t be more thankful to have such a supportive network of friends and family.

My college roommate and good friend MK sent me this beautiful rose quartz necklace from Israel. Emotionally, rose quartz is used to balance emotions and bring peace and calm. This calm emotional balance brings stress relief and easing of anxiety. All these things carry energies of forgiveness, tolerance, and compassion to the force, enabling us to see the good in both ourselves and others. I look forward to wearing it, because of it’s meaning, because of how beautiful it is, and because of the person who gave it to me. We’re not that close (distance wise) anymore, but she still remains one of my very best friends…and is always there for me when I need her. Thank you MK! I love you.
MK's Gift Continue reading

When is enough enough?

IMG_8008After months and months of shelling out thousands of dollars, spending countless hours with our RE, undergoing numerous treatments, losing two babies — only to be right back where we started — how do you know when it’s time to give up?

Last night, while lying in bed getting ready to go to sleep my husband told me he wants to stop trying. Continue reading

National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day

pregnancy&infantlossawarenessmonthIf you’ve never lost a child, experienced a miscarriage or a still birth you might not know that October is National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month. More specifically, October 15th is a universal day of remembrance for pregnancy loss and infant death. This day is observed with remembrance ceremonies and candle-lighting vigils….I know I never knew something like this existed until it applied to me.

Did you know that:

  • One in four pregnancies ends in the loss of a baby
  • The loss of a child is recognized as the most intense cause of grief
  • Parents never “get over” the loss of a child – no matter the age
  • Parents experiencing grief without supportive care can have debilitating consequences such as PTSD, depression and anxiety that could further result in job loss, divorce, difficulties in daily living, or impediments with parenting of living children

Continue reading

One lovely blog award

onelovelyblogawardThe One Lovely Blog Award is given to bloggers by fellow bloggers. It’s designed to promote up-and-coming blogs, and to highlight those blogs that are thought to be “lovely” by the person nominating them. I was nominated by not 1, but 6 fellow bloggers for this award (wannabemamacoalescedreverieHello my name is TubelessPlan B ChroniclesPlanting Beans, and Awaiting Autumn), and I am truly honored. THANK YOU for the nominations, and taking the time to read my blog and get to know me. Your support and friendship throughout this journey have meant so much to me. Infertility can feel so isolating at times, which is one of the original reasons I started blogging….and I’m so glad I did, because I have been able to connect with so many others going through very similar experiences.

Continue reading

My first acupuncture session

I had my first acupuncture session today, and I must say I loved it! I really liked the acupuncturist, we vibed really well. I had already filled out a bunch of paperwork pertaining to my medical history prior to arriving, and we went over that first. She asked me lots of questions about infertility and depression. When she learned that we had male factor infertility she said that she could treat my husband too, lol….well I told her to rest assured that wouldn’t happen. Maybe I’m wrong, but I just don’t see my husband going for an acupuncture appointment….he thinks it’s kinda crazy. I told her how technically I was still “pregnant” and was trying to pass the baby now, and told her about the methotrexate.  Continue reading