Final post

I wanted to add one last final post to this blog before “disappearing forever”. I just worry that new people that may stumble across my blog may wonder why I don’t keep up with it anymore if they haven’t read certain posts……sadly, this is one of those infertility blogs that has ended in divorce…..so we are no longer on the infertility journey together.

I’ve enjoyed following each and everyone of your blogs, and I’ve made some real connections with a lot of people. I wish you all the best and hope and pray that each and everyone of you gets your happy ending.

It’s so unfair that ANYONE should ever have to experience infertility, but the fact of the matter is that they do….it does happen, and chances are if you’re not experiencing it yourself you know of someone who is….or maybe they’re suffering in silence. Continue reading

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When is enough enough?

IMG_8008After months and months of shelling out thousands of dollars, spending countless hours with our RE, undergoing numerous treatments, losing two babies — only to be right back where we started — how do you know when it’s time to give up?

Last night, while lying in bed getting ready to go to sleep my husband told me he wants to stop trying. Continue reading

Ectopic update

This morning I had another follow up appointment with my RE. I had another ultrasound and he said everything was looking good….no cysts and no fluid, both good signs. I also had more blood work done including a CBC (complete blood count), another HCG beta draw, a comprehensive metabolic panel, and AST (SGOT)….not sure what that one is for. After the ultrasound & blood work I went into my RE’s office and we chatted about what comes next.

readytomoveonSo far my HCG levels have been dropping since my methotrexate shot on September 15th, but not at the rate that they generally like to see. For now, since I’m having no pain my RE doesn’t think it’s necessary to administer another shot of methotrexate, but if for some reason my levels start to level off and stop dropping we will have to do another at that point. He said he would call me this afternoon with today’s results and tell me when he needed me to come back in for another blood draw. I’m just so ready for this to be OVER so we can move on…..it’s such a long drawn out process….but I still probably have a few more weeks until my HCG returns to 0….on Monday it was at 1,290. Continue reading

Still pregnant!! – 4 weeks, 6 days

Top to bottom: 13dpiui, 14dpiui, 17dpiui, 18dpiui, 19dpiui
Top to bottom: 13dpiui, 14dpiui, 17dpiui, 18dpiui, 19dpiui

Even though I told myself I wouldn’t, I took another HPT yesterday and today. I just couldn’t help myself….and had so many of the cheapies laying around I figured it would be more wasteful if I DIDN’T use them. My second line is definitely getting darker, so that put me at ease a little heading in for my third beta HCG blood draw this morning. I got my blood drawn at 8:00 am then met with my RE about 30 minutes later. The results of my blood test weren’t available yet so we really didn’t have anything to talk about. He said he would call me as soon as he received the results, and if they were still increasing he would schedule me for an ultrasound. And that was that! Continue reading

One year blogiversary

happyanniversaryToday is my one year blogiversary. One year ago I started this blog with this post. I started it as a way to keep track of my journey, and I shared it with a few close friends and family members….because it was easier to keep everyone up to speed on things on the blog. What I didn’t expect from this blog was the network of people (mainly women) I would meet and form relationships with. Quickly I found out that there were so many (too many) people  in similar situations travelling on the same journey. It was so nice to get advice and feedback from those people who had actually experienced the things I was going through, and could relate to how I was feeling. Of course my friends/family were there for me too….but it’s just different when you’ve been through it. Continue reading

4 weeks, 4 days

wondfo pregnancy tests
Top to bottom: 13dpiui, 14dpiui, 17dpiui

After my VERY LOW beta on Thursday I decided to take another HPT Friday afternoon (13dpiui), and I saw a line….but just barely! I took another test Saturday morning (14dpiui) and it was a  little darker, you didn’t even have to squint. Then I decided to lay off the tests for the rest of the weekend, I felt like I was giving myself too much anxiety. I took another test this morning and it was also darker, so I figured my beta would be better today which gave me some comfort (darker tests indicate a rising beta). We decided to come back from our mini-vacation last night instead of this morning so we could sleep in our own bed and have the day off today to catch up on stuff around the house. So I woke up early this morning and was at my doctor’s office at 8:00 am for my repeat beta test. I received the call a few hours later that my beta was 39 (progesterone was 14), so it has a doubling time of 32 hours

Continue reading

So, I’m a little bit pregnant

3This morning I had my “pregnancy test appointment” at my RE’s office. I didn’t have it in me to take another hpt this morning b/c I just couldn’t see another BFN. My RE is on vacation this week, so I had to meet with another doctor….but it was a pretty quick appointment. The urine pregnancy test was negative, just as I thought it would be. Normally my RE’s office doesn’t do beta HCG tests until you have a confirmed pregnancy test, but since they wanted to do another CBC (complete blood count) and estradiol check to see if I was still at risk for OHSS they added HCG beta to the list too. Continue reading

11dpiui, it’s not looking good

11dpiuiI took a test this morning, and it was negative. I still have a few more days before I should lose all hope of this cycle working out, but I’m feeling pretty broken today.

Since I’m on progesterone suppositories AF won’t come to visit until I stop them, so it doesn’t mean anything that she hasn’t shown up yet. Continue reading

When will it be my turn??

Today I’m 9dpiui, too early to know if this IUI worked or not, but I can’t help but think about it every day. I’m very hopeful that this will be OUR cycle, but I always worry/wonder how I’ll react if it’s not. How can I take another failed cycle? Will we just do another IUI next cycle? Will we have to take a month off b/c I have more cysts? Continue reading

No urine output test needed!

Good news, my blood work looks great so I don’t have to do the urine output test, at least for now. My RE advised me to keep monitoring everything and taking it easy. He said that if I do get pregnant from this cycle that the HCG produced in pregnancy could trigger the OHSS, so I’m not out of the woods just yet. My RE gave me his work cell phone number and told me to text or call if any of my symptoms worsened. Continue reading