The neverending story

image194-this-gritty-concept-art-is-everything-i-want-from-a-neverending-story-remakeI had another blood draw this past Monday, THIRTEEN WEEKS after my first dose of methotrexate for my ectopic pregnancy….and the result was 8. My HCG is still 8, after all this time. My RE doesn’t seem concerned about it, and just asked that I retest in another 2 months, but JEEZ!!!!!!!!!! Continue reading

When will it be my turn??

Today I’m 9dpiui, too early to know if this IUI worked or not, but I can’t help but think about it every day. I’m very hopeful that this will be OUR cycle, but I always worry/wonder how I’ll react if it’s not. How can I take another failed cycle? Will we just do another IUI next cycle? Will we have to take a month off b/c I have more cysts? Continue reading

All systems go for IUI #5!

CD14This morning I had another ultrasound to check on my growing follicles (CD14), and I also had another blood draw to check my Estradiol levels….hopefully they’re okay and I’m not going to overstimulate. I’ve been pounding water & Gatorade like it’s going out of style, and peeing every 10 minutes….it’s quite annoying. I’m definitely still very tender, and my work pants are so tight right now from the extra bloat. I will probably be wearing a maxi-skirt for the next few days/weeks. I guess my Estradiol levels from Tuesday were low enough so my RE still wants to use the HCG trigger shot, which is a good sign. The ultrasound went well, I have 12 potentially mature follicles, and I’m ready to trigger tonight. So I’ll do my HCG trigger shot tonight at 10:00 pm and have my IUI on Saturday morning at 10:00 am. Since it’s going to be on the weekend I’ll have to do the at home sperm washing like last time (for more details on this click here)….which actually makes it nicer because we’re not so rushed that way. We have friends coming in this weekend, so I’ll just go to the appointment on my own. Continue reading


Three months ago I was honored to be nominated for the Liebster Award by one of my closest Infertility Sisters, Lindsey at Awaiting Autumn. I started this blog back in September as a way to vent and document my journey. Never did I imagine that people would actually read and engage in my blog in the way they have, I’ve met some really kick ass ladies through this journey, and they’ve really helped get me through some tough times. Recently I stumbled upon a new infertility blog LOVEcomaMOM, and Daniela and I really hit it off. Our stories are very similar, and we started emailing regularly. She nominated me for the Liebster award today, and I’m just so honored. Since I’ve already received the award I’m really not sure what the protocol is, but I figured I’d still answer her questions….it’s a fun way to get to know each other better. And hell, it’s a nice change in pace from my normal posts where I talk about needles, money, drugs, depression, you name it! Continue reading

Just one of those days

R has a trial out of town this week, so left earlier today and won’t be back until Tuesday night…..leaving me all alone, with my thoughts. This trip couldn’t have come at a worse time for me, just feeling very low. Plus, tomorrow is the 6th anniversary of my mothers death, double whammy. I finally got out of bed as he was leaving earlier today, and did a bit of cleaning and organizing, then made a trip to target. Now I’m back at the house watching tv just waiting for bed. It’s ridiculous how much spare time I have sometimes, even with a full time job and grad school. I know I should enjoy this time while we still don’t have kids, but I resent it at times. I’ll be okay, tomorrow I’ll probably feel better, I know it’s just my hormones making me extra crazy today. AF started yesterday, today is CD2. I’m using a diva cup for AF this cycle for the first time, I plan to add a full review for those that might be interested…..but so far so good! Hoping for a good week!!

Award winning!

liebsterblogawardI’d like to give a big HUG and THANK YOU to Lindsey at Awaiting Autumn for nominating me for a Liebster Award, you are so sweet this meant so much to me. I decided to accept my nomination as a welcome distraction from my normal posts about cycle days, tests, shots, pills and procedures….plus it’s a fun way to get to know me better.

I’m so glad that I decided to start blogging about my infertility journey in September of 2013 and so thankful that so many of you actually care what’s going on in my life, at least enough to read and comment regularly on my blog, lol. Continue reading

Bring it 2014!

2013 wasn’t a bad year, a lot of wonderful things happened in our lives! I organized a very successful 5k race to help raise awareness of the disease my mother passed away from, R’s older sister had her first baby (our first niece), my sister announced her third pregnancy, I started grad school, R’s younger sister graduated from college, our oldest nephew started kindergarten, and we had several friends & family visits throughout the year….but it didn’t bring us a baby, and that’s what I keep dwelling on. It’s so easy to dwell on the negatives and forget all of the positives and blessings in our lives and I’m trying to be better at that.

I’ve got a few *hopefully realistic* goals for the new year that I’d like to share….sharing them makes them real:

  • lose 8 lbs every month I’m not pregnant
  • maintain a more positive attitude
  • read 1 book (for fun, not school) a month

Continue reading